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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?